Crime Rate: D.B. Cooper

 

He's legendary. The gigachad of criminals. He needs no introduction. This is D.B. Cooper

Victimology: 16/20

The score might be a little unexpected seeing as D.B. Cooper did not kill or injure and single person. It's a victimless crime and I truly admire him for that. He committed a crime to get money and managed to not hurt anyone. Not only is that impressive, it's a strong showing of his morals. So I guess chivalry isn't dead huh?

Modus Operandi: 15/20

He's not serial so I don't know if I can really say he has an MO so I'll just describe what happened. Cooper gets on a plane and tells a flight attendant he has a bomb. He then gets the plane to land where he then gets a briefcase full of money and a parachute. He also lets all of the passengers off while the plane is on the ground. He then has the crew fly the plane until eventually he jumps, never to be found. Dope. A. F.

Motive: 0/20

They never found a motive. Technically I should give this an not applicable/20 but I'm feeling mean today. I can't be too generous.

Justice: 20/20

This one is an easy 20/20. They never found him. Tidbits of evidence has been found, including some of the money he was given. There are many theories as to what happened, but each of them has like one piece of evidence that contradicts it. Why is it that conspiracy theories always turn out like that? Personally, I think he died.

X-factor: 5/20

I mean... the parachuting was pretty impressive but idk, I'm just not vibing with Cooper as much as I thought I would be. Pretty bland. No blood or guts or big explosions. No attacking institutions because of a deep heatred for capitalism and minorities.

Total: 56/100

I think the score undersells him a little bit. But then again I don't really care. What is he gonna do? Hijack my house and then parachute away? Come back next week for someone. I don't know who yet. But it'll be someone.